Primatology and the Post-Election

The Progressive, November 2020

“Human leadership is similar to that of our closest ancestors, with the rise to alpha status all too often requiring overt displays of dominance. Studies show that people prefer dominant leaders, especially during times of instability.”

“[M]y dad says that Spelling Bee takes up too much of his time. From an evolutionary perspective, this choice makes sense. Animals wouldn’t waste time on something like a puzzle. […] When time is limited, it must be well spent.”

“My childhood memories are delicately woven with little girl whispers: secrets murmured into newly pierced ears. Sleepovers peppered with fabricated terrors and an excuse to cling to each other and shriek beneath the covers, before erupting in giggles. […] What happens to the whispers when a microscopic virus pushes them to the margins? Can secrets flourish when they are socially distanced?”

“It’s been one day since I learned about the second arson and I’m still trying to figure out what to tell my daughter. My husband and I are torn—bewteen protecting her childhood and the risk that she will learn about more than bears from her classmates.”

How to Choose a Pandemic Pet

Little Old Lady Comedy, September 2020

“As the nation enters month six of the coronavirus crisis, many people are adopting pets to fill the void left by social distancing. Being trapped in your home is obviously the perfect time to take on new responsibility for another life. But which pet is the best fit for your home?”

The Unraveling of a Girl Scout Mom in Ten Easy Steps

Little Old Lady Comedy, March 2021

“It’s January and I have finally committed to ironing the Girl Scout badges onto my daughter’s Daisy uniform. She’s been a Daisy for four months, and is the only girl with an empty vest. Meanwhile, it’s cookie season and I hear no one will buy cookies from an empty vested child.”